I'm Sorry
by eden alice
Summary: Brennan and Shalimar have just got it together, so why can't it stay that way?
1. Default Chapter

                                                                        I'm sorry

The rain hammered down on my skin. With my enhanced feral ability I could feel each drop burning like a strong acid. I could barely see through the rain and hot salty tears that fell from my eyes in sign of guilt and anger.

God the anger was so strong throbbing deep down inside of me. I felt like I was going to explode. It twisted and turned inside me like a storm. I have been filled with so much anger lately that I almost relish the intense pain as it tears at my insides. It's all I feel any more.

I could not hear him but I saw the hazy large figure out of the corner of my eye which I had no doubt where now glowing gold. I clenched my fists realising he had found me. I always knew he would find me. My nails dug into the tanned flesh of my hands stinging slightly but I failed to take note. My ears buzzed with the sound of the unstoppable rain, which would be enough to muffle a normal persons hearing but with the noise multiplied by the rhythmic drumming of my heart in my chest it makes hearing anything impossible like I am separated in a world where hearing it not necessary. And I am in my own world. I am different, better, stronger, faster.

He slowly approaches me and I try to read the emotions playing on his face with a dreaded sense of anticipation. His hansom face twists as if he does not know what to feel. First I see disgust, as he slowly looks me up and down. I don't blame him he has seen what I can do. He knows the existent of my powers and how far I am willing to take them. I have a monster inside that wants to hurt people. And I embraced it. No longer the noble loyal creature he once thought I was, to him I was evil someone from the side of the shadows. Someone who his sense of duty meant he had to stop.

The next emotion I saw on his face was concern. This surprised me. I did not want his pity. I had chose this to finally give in to become one with what lurked inside. I though he wanted that so it would be easier for him doing what he knew he had to do. End the evil.

He stood his distance but I could see his dark eyes being drawn to the black stain on my top and my exposed chest but the stain was not really black. It was crimson red, the colour of blood. I knew it covered me in vast quantities I could smell it. It excited the animal inside me filled me with a dark sadistic pleasure that was so new but also familiar to me. The rain washed part of it away as it beat on my clothes like lashes of whips. It would never be completely washed away. Not off my top, not off my body. This blood was not my own and I think he knew that. It was a pure red and there was so much of it. My own blood seemed much darker, like my soul. It fell from my swollen lip. Covered my lower lip as my tongue had touched it, spreading it like vamp lipstick. I could taste salt but my mind was too occupied to tell if it was from the blood or the tears. I knew blood also cascaded down my arms creating waterfalls in the rain. I had never stopped to look down to see what angry wound had caused the waterfalls. 

For a moment I felt a glint of hope. He still cared he did not hate me completely just yet. The animal that clawed inside me soon engulfed that tiny glint. He was naïve he would soon forget about me.

The next emotion on his face was hate. My chest swelled with pride. I was right as he saw more of my true nature I became the enemy. No not just the enemy, the devil the ultimate evil. For I had slithered my way into his heart and I had then destroyed it from the inside. Not only that but I had enjoyed it. After letting go, losing the burden of control I felt more at ease, more complete than my mind had ever believed I could. I had felt sad when I first let go, not through guilt but the look on his face, all their faces as they saw what I had become. They had thought I was something more something better. It made the beast inside me laugh hysterically to see them so distraught at what I was. Adam had been the worst after raising me since I was fifteen he had never seen that part of me. I had killed a part of him in that moment. Part of the man that I had once been wiling to call dad.

Although his soulful eyes clouded over and became unreadable the sides of his full mouth where gently pulled up in an involuntary grimace. His mouth told me everything I needed to know. He was ready he knew one of us was not leaving this spot on this bitter night. 

I lowered my self into a low fighting stance. Tensing muscles I had never used in such ways before. It felt good. I was unstoppable, completely feral and wild not burdened with the draw back of control as he was. This was going to be my most memorable fight. The man before me was so much larger both in height and in weight. It would be such a triumph to beat him. To spill his blood into the river of water that now flowed around our feet. I knew somewhere there was love for me inside him. A last tiny piece of love that he was trying to hold on to. I knew him better than he knew himself. I would destroy his love before I destroyed him. It would make the end easer and more inevitable.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors notes-Thank you for the reviews. I have a plot line now but I refuse to reveal my plans. I also hate to think Shal would be capable of anything like this but playing around with maybes is fun. Especially in my twisted mind. I hope you like this part, it was difficult to write as this is meant to be a descriptive story and I have a fight scene that I cannot miss out. Detail and fights do not go together easily. I hope I handled them ok. This part changes voices a lot. I think its pretty clear that is speaking. If the part refers to him Shalimar, her Brennan the other is a 3rd person. (Chapter edited loads of time after I first posted it because half of it disapered and I plan to try and finish this story soon)

She let out a low menacing growl as she bent over slightly. The sound rolled in the night's air. It should have been impossible to hear under the row the rain was making but somehow the dangerous growl had been so loud it almost hurt my ears. She was ready to pounce like a cat. Only she was not a cat. A cat would not do the things she had done.

I was still in shock from seeing her. Several seconds had past but it felt like minuets. She was no longer the Shalimar she once was. Her tanned skin had once glowed now seemed too pale and sickly. Her whiter than white skin contrasted with her brown fiery eyes and the dark eye make-up which she wore above them. Only, I noted her eyes were not fiery anymore they just looked angry. There was no trace of a person with a conscience, just a beast.

Dark lines under her eyes where not so prominent but were visible on closer inspection. Her body looked tired but her mind appeared to be focused. Her naturally wavy hair was soaked and sticking to her head and shoulders in a blond mass. The rain bounced 10 ft in the air after hitting her head.

Her lips were cracked and a light beige colour in the areas that were no covered with blood. Her clothes where clinging to her toned figure as her muscles tensed. Wearing only black jeans and what was a light blue top she must have been freezing but she did not show it. I was having a hard enough time trying to suppress the violent shivers that threatened to take me over and I was wearing a thick coat.

After a while of looking at her all I saw was red. I tried not to look away in repulsion. There was so much blood covering her. Her own run down from deep cuts in her upper arms, I could not remember her getting those, on her chest and slowly dribbling down her stomach over her see-through top was blood that did not belong to her. She had stolen it, wearing it as if it was a badge. I don't think she really knew it was there.

I growled again louder letting the sound vibrate and roll on my tongue. I was getting impatient. Why did he not lower his broad shoulders and charge at me like he had done so many times during training?

As I waited the brassy smell of the blood got stronger till I had to push my focuses back on the man. The man? I could not remember who he was. He smelt familiar though. Could I trust him? He looked strong and his eyes grew determined. He was a threat.

The realisation hit me worse than any punch or kick could. What you don't want to believe always does that to you. Me, Brennan the guy who had always pried himself on his street smarts had never seen this coming. I knew what I had to do. I had to stop her before she spilled anyone else's blood. It was still Shalimar inside that wrecked body. I do not have the luxury of distancing her from myself. I had to take it upon myself to kill the women I thought I loved.

I mirrored her fighting stance clearing my mind. I could not use my powers to shock her unconscious as the rain had made my greatest strength deadly to myself. I had the superiors weight and strength but she was faster.

It all seemed silent for a moment. Each of them seemed to stop eyes lost somewhere in the person facing them. The rain seemed to hang in mid air catching the light of the last few remaining sunrays. It was quiet but not peaceful. Two souls seemed to cry out silently in so much pain. One hidden the other laid bare preparing for what was to come.

The moment was over before it could of saved them. The blond rushed at the man grabbing him with thin fingers at the neckline of his dark sweatshirt. Using her tight grip and lighting speed she managed to flip the tall man so that he was lying by her feet. She immediately jumped on top of him using her own legs to pin his. With an expertly raised fist she delivered a hard blow to his jaw with a thud.

She was about to hit him again when he reacted. Bending his knees and putting his feet on the floor he used the leverage to flip the women of him sending her flying forward.

She hit the floor, shoulder first. A small grunt escaped her lips as she tucked her head and legs in and rolled before the man could reach her. She sprang to her feet with a graceful leap.

He rushed forward as soon as she was off him knowing her true speed. As he grew near he was ready for the combination of punches that she aimed at his face. He blocked everyone with a strong moment of his arms each in turn.

He did not however block the kick she launched from standing side on to him. Her straight leg aimed at his neck. Where her pointed hills could do the most damage. He staggered back, not getting the full blast of the blow but it was enough to knock him of balance.

Regaining his composure as quickly as he could he saw her slim leg coming at him again. This time he grabbed it, getting a grip on anything was getting nearly impossible. The rain was making everything it covered slippery and soaking clothes so much they became heavy and weighed down making the fight twice as exhausting.

Still holding her leg he head butted her while she was distracted. With the force of his move she fell back causing her leg to slip out of his grip. She stumbled but she did not fall.

The man rushed at her again, his long black leather coat seemed to dance on the wind. He could not hide his surprise as she started to head towards him. He slowed his spend slightly but kept going.

As small grin appeared on the women's face as she simply stopped as they met and flipped over the man. Her long wet hair trailed after her almost touching the top of his head as she flew over. Then they were back to where they had started only on opposite sides. Both stared at the other. Seizing the moment to sum up the enemy and their own status. They started to side step in a circler shape. Taking long, strong strides slowly almost symmetrically.

I knew we had only just started the fight but I already felt my chest heaving and my lungs burned. I felt my cheek stiffen and I knew a large bruise would be very visible tomorrow. That was if I would be alive by tomorrow. I'm not negative, just realistic. Shalimar had the advantage; she had nothing left to hang on to. Nothing to make her hesitate. Only survival. Brennan did not have this. His only chance of winning was to make it all melt away. To make his world the fight.

I was not numb to the world. I felt it all. The rain was as hard as I had ever known it. I was almost drowning in it. Ankles lost somewhere in the murky, brown, muddy water causing a drag as I walked. My shoulder screamed in pain. He had hurt me he was the enemy. I kept my eyes on his eyes. Trying to commit every detail of his face to my memory. His dark hair, which was plastered to his head. His dark chocolate eyes that seemed so serious and deadly where underlined with humour. His face was sculptured out of tanned flawless skin. Strong jaw, thin lips pulled together as if he was thinking. Enemy, bad.

Once again in the blink of an eye they were fighting. The woman was first to move again. A grunt of effort escaped her lips as she launched a powerful flying kick at the man. Jumping just that little bit higher than a normal person would she seemed to hang in mid air for a second. Her foot hit him square in the chest sending him flying meters backwards.

She ran towards him but before she could plan what to do next one of his strong long legs shot out from under his body knocking her on the floor next to him. He quickly rolled on top of the women spitting out a mouthful of water as he did so. He held her arms with one hand and rapped his legs around hers like she had done earlier. He raped his free hand tightly around her neck. For a moment the women laid still before she started to struggle like a trapped animal she was. She tried to shake the man off but his superior body weight was too much for her. Her mouth was opened wide as she gasped for air.

It hurts to be so close to her. To feel her body beneath my own. So small and slim yet so strong, containing so much curled up power. I try to stop the assault on my mind of the times in the past when we had laid like this before. Only I was not killing her. She was not Shalimar though, not the one I had loved. I could feel her body rise and fall violently beneath me in attempts to throw me of her. I held as tight as I could to her wrists but my hand was slipping. I could feel the stinging pain of her nails brutally digging into my hands. I just tightened my hand round her throat the more she struggled. I could feel her heart hammering against my chest. It was beating so fast so angrily I thought it would explode out of her. I made sure that I did not look into her eyes. My eyes hovering somewhere around her small nose. I could not however ignore the hampered sounds of her gasps for breaths. The desperate noises she made sounded inhuman and wilds. It would be over soon her body was growing weaker. Her struggles became easier to withhold.

"It shouldn't have had to be this way."

I was shocked to hear my own voice speaking my deepest thoughts without my permission. The words sounded cold but beneath the coldness my voice was cracking with pain and guilt.

I felt so angry in the moment. She was making me feel this. She was hurting me like my stepfather and so many after him had done. I wanted to punish her for this. To make her suffer for making me love her so much that I thought my heart would slow down and stop with hers. She had lied to me. Creating a safe, perfect little life and then she goes and runes it. Becoming this, this monster I could barely stand to look at.

His sudden words carry a lifetimes worth of pictures. Pictures of us laughing and eating together. Some of him kissing and hugging me gently. I grow curious as I see images of us fighting each other but not like this. We don't actually hurt each other just, what's the word? Train together. Brennan. He is Brennan the man I worked side by side with. The man I had shared my bed with.

No, this does not change anything. I have to kill him. He does not love me anyway. He would not be hurting me if he did. I felt sick. Bile was rising in my throat. I gasped for air my lungs screaming for invisible force that sustains us all. Rain. Why was it raining so much? It hammered in my eyes causing me to blink and my vision to become impossibly blurry.

The toxic rain also hammered in my mouth. With no air I was forced to swallow some of it. A horrifying thought dawned on me. I would drown to death before I died of strangulation. Kill. The words flashed in my mind. It was kill or be killed I knew I had to focus on that cliché to save my life. It was not just survival though. I knew once I felt his blood in my hands. Once I feel its sticky warmth I would feel better as I had time and time again before. It was almost erotic to have that much control over someone. That much power. My thoughts gave me a sudden burst of adrenaline.

Lifting my head and hitting it hard on his. I grit my teeth as I felt the vibrations of pain whirled through my head. I knew he was feeling twice as much pain than I was. His hand loosened its grip from around my throat as he grunted in pain. I head butted him again knowing it would be enough to make him let go of my throat all together. I was right. I pushed him off me and jumped to my feet. I tried not to cough and splutter due to the water in my lungs. It made spots dance in my vision but it was not enough to knock me out. The feeling of the air stinting my insides was welcomed as my lungs filled with air. I kicked him hard in the ribs as he lay on the floor. Not to hurt him but to force him to get up and to continue the fight.

"Come on. Fight me!"

Her shout almost seems lost in the sounds that are all around us almost like she did not really mean them. Like they were just empty words to distract me. Her kick also hurt but I knew she could kick a lot harder. It did not matter though. Maybe she was tired and I was winning. I had to put her down. Like a vet would do to a sick animal, after all she was a sick animal. Lost in a lust of killing. I was on my feet again. Then we were fighting. My moves were unplanned and hard lacking skill. It was clear hers were too.

The fight now was almost too fast for the human eye. Punch after punch was thrown. It almost seemed as if they were taking turns. At the start the punches were blocked but after a minuet of fists constantly flying towards them they gave up on blocking. Letting each vicious blow hit but returning a blow just as hard.

"I'm a killer you can't take me!"

The blonds voice was high and uncontrolled. She through more punches and added a few kicks.

"I'm bad, I'm evil. You can't kill me no one can!"

She properly would have been better to put her energy in the fight but she seemed to need to shout and scream these words. They did not seem to be aimed at the man anymore. It was almost as if she was shouting at herself.

"I'm going to kill you!"

As she told me she was going to kill me I doubted for the first time that she was actually going to do it. It was the look in her eyes. It was not strong or forceful. Her eyes were filling with regret and weakness. Almost like she did not really want to kill me. But why then, did she not stop. My mind came to the heart breaking truth. She couldn't stop and she wanted me to do it for her. I was angry with her again but this time for a different reason. She had given up decided that she could not be saved or that it was too hard for her to live with everything she had done. I felt deeply sorry for her but as always my anger overruled this other feeling. I was not going to give her what she wanted. She did not deserve that.

All of a sudden the man stopped. He just stopped letting the strong blonde throw punches at his face. He blocked a few but made no real effort to fight back.

"I'm evil, a killer!" She screamed uncontrollably. "Fight back!"

She shouted her words in the form of a warning to the man but they carried hidden meaning. Hidden depth. A depth most would never hear or understand but the depth seemed to touch the very core of the man's soul. He continued to block the worst of the blows. The women's frustrations clear as he mad no attempt to hurt her back.

"Why wont you fight back? I'm evil!"

Her words were empty to me know. I had realised how she truly felt. I no longer heard the words only the pain they were laced with. I spotted her left arm coming towards the side of my neck in a punch that would have done me some serious damage. I used the opportunity to grab her arm sending her spinning so she was standing besides me.

"I know what you want and I wont make it easy for you baby"

His words stung my ear as he whispered them. How dare he call me an affectionate name? The name he had called me as I fell as I fell asleep in his arms. Was he so stupid that he thought I still felt the same way about him? How did he know what I want anyway? I want to fight to kill him and he was making it very easy for me.

The women's blows seemed to become weaker. Slower and easier to block. She stumbled slightly but she just kept on hitting like a mad women.

Shalimar was falling apart once again. I could tell she was breaking inside. Her true self-disgusted with what she had become. I could see it in her eyes, in her movements. It was as if her true self had awakened from a long sleep and she was terrified and distraught with herself.

"I'm a monster!"

I screamed. My voice dry and desperate sounding. It was betraying me like my body was. Monster. I knew I was one. I knew that was what they all thought of me but I had not had to deal with it until now. Had I always been so bad? So evil? I couldn't quite remember ever being an innocent, pure child. No, that innocence and purity was betrayed and then beaten out of me from a very young age.

My head hurt with the pain of endless conflicting emotions. I was frustrated at Brennan for not fighting back. I was out for revenge for all the pain had people had caused me over the years. I wanted to blame them for what I had become.

And there was the anger. The anger that had swirled inside me until I lashed out in violence. The anger that I had let control me. I felt angry with myself. Angry with myself for feeling an uncontrollable lust to hurt people to make them suffer as I had.

The worst was the guilt. The horrible gut wrenching guilt that I wished would just leave me to do as I pleased. I did not want it. Any of it. These emotions felt so strange to me. I had two ways out of this. One way I knew I would not be leaving this ally but this was unlikely, as Brennan just would not do what I wanted him too. The other way was to kill Brennan and to carry on as I had been doing. But if I was true to myself. Something I had not done for a very long time. I would know that I could not kill Brennan. I was to guilt ridden to do it and I was just so tired. I felt old and worn. Life had lost the buzz of excitement it had once had when I first became out of control. It had been fun to do as I pleased completely free of rules and morals.

The thing inside had became one with me and I no longer had to fight it. Being above everyone was just so lonely and tiring. I just felt so old. Like it was my time to leave this world. Maybe I could rest in hell. I wanted; no I needed Brennan to kill me. It was selfish but I wanted so badly to be free, to not have to think anymore. I was scared to kill myself. I knew I was going to hell. After all I had done so many bad things but if I killed myself I would be losing control. No matter how much I wanted to be free of it all it also scared me so much. If he killed me then I would of died in battle then some how that would have been better than killing myself. What ever happens now I don't care. I can't its just to much for one person to take. I feel like I will drop down dead anyway. After all I am already dead inside.

The women continued to throw her fists at the man only know she could of barely hurt a child. Her whole body was shaking violently with cold and deep horrifying emotions. She looked so ill. Tears fell freely down her cheeks. She continuously shouted about her being evil until her voice was not much above a frightened whisper.

The man placed a gentle but strong hand on her upped back and gently hushed her. He tried to full her into a hug but she kept on fighting only know he punches had become weak slaps. She seemed unsteady and unsure of what to do with herself. Most of all she seemed hate herself.

Her blows where no longer aimed at the tall man but at her own beaten body. She collapsed to the ground still telling herself that she was evil and needed to be stopped. The man went down with her kneeling down next to her fallen form. He pulled her into a deep hug with no hesitation. Gently stroking her soaking hair with one hand in a smoothing manner. He gently hushed her again wanting to stop her tears and help her to get over her pain. They were two small forms in a large, empty ally. Two small people having the largest of moments.

"God, Brennan, kill me"

Her plea broke my heart. All my anger forgotten. It did not matter now. I forgot all the horrible things she had done. I could see now why she had done it. How lost she must of felt. Now when I look at her I do not see the monster I once saw. I do not see my passionate lover either. I see a broken child. Lost and frightened in a world that had manipulated her. She was battered and bruised and shivering and the only thing I knew in that moment was that I had to protect her.


	3. Chapter 3

Author's notes- Wow that's a lot of reviews. I was not expecting so many. Thank you so much to everyone who replied it's appreciated greatly. I will explain what has happened before the story takes place in the coming chapters. If I write this write Shalimar's recovery should be just as interesting as her break down.  

_There are moments in life. Big moments that change everything be it for the best or the worst. These moments always come they are inevitable. They come in everyone's life when they least expect them. In these moments you do not think you simply exist. You do not plan or rationalise your actions. It is almost as if fate dictates our actions. So does this mean we are helpless? Little chess pieces made from skin, bones and blood moved around by some powerful force beyond our comprehension?_

_No._

_After the big life changing moment. After the all the revelations have taken place life still goes on. Can life live up to the drama of these moments? _

_Properly not but it is after these moments that we truly are free. Free from fate to do as we please. We can embrace change, make a new start or… well, lets just say it can go both ways._

_After the big moments we have to stop and think. That's when life gets hard. Decisions have to be stuck by no matter how hard. After the big moment all that is left is you with your pain._

The first sign of morning was the continuous bird songs. It seemed strange that the birds would sing in such a built up, run down area. They're happy but ignorant singing seemed almost like a sarcastic attempt to annoy the people below.

Birds could sail high in the air free to touch the heavens. To feel the sunrise before anyone else. To touch the first warm orange rays of sun and bask happily in the pure light unaware of the darkness that goes on below them.

Below the peaceful sky's was a large area that always seemed to be in perceptual darkness even when the hot sun was shining at its brightest. The area was filled with two story warehouses and seedy bars. Dark alleyways weaved in and out of back entrances to these buildings. In a huge maze that was practically impossible to negotiate unless you needed to know your way around the dark parts of town.

The area was quiet. People kept to themselves here. And there were a lot of people around. Most of the people though were shadows. Empty shells. People with stories that they wanted to keep hidden from the people around them and themselves. No one asked questions they all where running from something. Occasionally a cocky gang would move in and start to haunt the bars trying to intimidate and control the people who lived around. This never lasted for long. How can you impose control that has its bases in fear if the people you are trying to control have given up on fear? When they simply don't care anymore. 

Brennan felt this place was appropriate in a strange kind of way. He walked slowly towards a familiar warehouse holding his leather coat and heavy sweatshirt in one hand. It was now growing too hot for all the layers. He was grateful that his green t-shirt had not got wet. His other hand was placed around Shalimar's waist. He had led her the short distance to the warehouse in complete silence. She seemed as if she was on autopilot not even comprehending that her feet were moving. Brennan felt slightly relived because of this. He did not think that he could handle her if she was still crying and screaming at him to kill her. 

He took a moment to look the building they stood in front of up and down. It was old and the guttering was hanging lose and creaking in several places. Water spouted from large cracks in the pipes as a reminder to the storm that had past a few hours ago. The building itself was large and the basic box shape. It had four large windows, two of which had been boarded up the other two looked like they needed to be. Even from standing outside it was clear that these windows would never let in enough light to light the whole building. 

The large box had been painted white a long time ago. Perhaps to add an illusion of it being a nice friendly place. The paint was now dirty and cracked. Major chunks hang of the building revealing the heavy bricks below that were covered with a green moss. The fire escape seemed too flimsy to be used now. The bottom half of the ladder had fallen of a long time ago and now the rest of it swung back and forward in the breeze.

Brennan did not have time to think how much the place had changed he had to get inside. He found the door that was hidden around the back. Only the door had been kicked down a long time ago and now the only thing keeping intruder from entering was a heavy wooden shutter with the wooden planks roughly nailed together in the shape of a checkers game. You could see straight inside. Not that there was a lot to see inside.

Brennan let go of Shalimar's waist and took her hand instead. Not wanting to let her go completely. He reached down and pulled the heavy shutter up just far enough for them both to slip under. He winced feeling his arm ach like the rest of his body was. He then gently but hurriedly pulled Shalimar inside. Making sure that she ducked under the shutter by placing a hand on her still soaking hair.

Inside there was one large bare room. It was hard to see due to the semi night that the building seemed to be covered by. There were a few large machines. Brennan had no idea what they were for. He knew that the warehouse used to be used as a factory where cigarette boxes were made. A faint whirl of smoke seemed to sit near the ceiling as if to remind people of the buildings background. The whole room was impossibly dirty. The floor was covered with a thick layer of dark dust. The upper level was no doubt the same.

Brennan started to lead Shalimar again once they were safely inside. He knew exactly where he was heading. They walked to the other side of the room where a metal door was located. He quickly opened the door and walked confidently down the descending stars that were shrouded in complete pitch black.

Once down the stairs they were still in complete darkness until Brennan reached up and pulled a sodden piece of rope which turned on the exposed bulb that hang above their heads. They where now underground. A secret level that not many warehouses contained. It was like a small flat with parts sectioned off into small rooms. They where standing in the bedroom and the living room. Which had been combined into one. The room did not contain much only the essentials. A chair sat next to a small desk, which was littered with some old yellowing paper and a few books. There was a cupboard in one corner that was made out of pine and had beautiful pictures of lions and dragons carved into it carved into it. The antique cupboard also doubled as a wardrobe. Against the wall furthest away from the stairs was a large inviting bed. Its wooden frame was varnished in a deep brown which had a slight red shine to it. The bed looked like if you sat on it you would sink so deep into the soft mattress that you could sleep forever. The bed was covered with a rich brown and gold quilt and a number of gold pillows sat at the head of the bed.

This place was Brennan's he held the legal documents for it. A long time ago a friend and fellow thief had died leaving this place for Brennan. He had kept it as well as his apartment which he had been living in when Adam had brought him into Mutant X. At first it was a secret place to escape to if things did not work out. Although he had always felt at home in the Sanctuary but after being let down in his life numerously he felt safer knowing he had a place to call his own. Lately he had thought about selling the warehouse. He knew he did not need it anymore. Mutant X, Shalimar had his heart. But he had kept it out of habit. He had decided to take Shalimar here rather than back to the Sanctuary, as he did not know how the others would react to having her back when they were so sure they would have had to kill her. He also was being selfish. He wanted to reach her on his own without interference. He was not sure if Shalimar would be able to handle more than one person at the moment.   

He finally took the time to really look at Shalimar. He had not looked her directly in the eye ever since he had picked her hysterical form of the wet ground. She looked awful. Her skin was even paler than it was last night and was now littered by more angry little cuts. Her hair looked dirty and hanged of her shoulders in limp tangles. Her dark eyes made his heart bleed they were focused straight ahead of her, unmoving and slightly glazed but they also carried so much sadness pain and guilt it made looking at her awful. Her clothes were ruined. Jeans filthy almost black they looked heavy as the denim had only soaked up the rainwater making them twice as heavy and properly very cold and uncomfortable. Her top hangs in rags now completely see-through. Her bra underneath also appeared to be soaked in blood and water.

He notices that she's shivering violently. Concerned he realises that she's freezing and in shock. Quickly Brennan moves Shalimar to face him.

"Baby, I'm going to have to take your clothes of before you catch hypothermia."

 He whispered the words gently. Still not comfortable with the way his nickname for her sounded now. Baby was for someone innocent. Shalimar had long lost all innocence. But she was lost; she needed protecting if she was ever going to be the women she once was. In that way she was helpless. So strong and deadly but crippled by her emotions. 

Shalimar barely seemed to register his voice. She nodded slightly although Brennan was not sure if it was just the shivers. Gently he undid the buttons of her jeans pulling them down and then prompting her to lift each leg in turn so he could slip them off. He threw the jeans on the floor not caring about the trail of water they left across the floor. He then took her top of asking her to raise her arms like a small child.

Brennan was silent as he undressed her. He noticed every cut and scratch on her body. Every time he found a wound on her delicate skin he would gently run his fingers over it. She seemed to cringe slightly in pain at some of the larger wounds and Brennan saw this as a good thing. At least she was partly responsive. 

Brennan attempted to look her in the eye again but she just stared through him. He smiled anyway to reassure her with his presence. He then moved quietly behind her gently rapping one arm around her waist as he unclasped her bra strap. An action he had done many times before but never in such circumstances. There was nothing sexual about it all Brennan was thinking about was making Shalimar well again.

After adding the bra to the pile of clothes he reached into the cupboard and pulled out a large fluffy sweatshirt that had been to big for him. He quickly placed it on the blond feral satisfied as she almost disappeared into the thick material. He then sat her down on the bed. Leaving her quickly to grab the first aid box that was located on the ground floor. He came back to find her sitting stiffly where he had left her. His heart sank a bit even though he had not expected her to move. He just wanted her to jump up into his arms and start talking like none of the past month had happened.

In the next five minuets he cleaned and covered all her major cuts and scrapes. The cuts on her arms looked like they might need stitches but a heavy bandage was all he had at his disposal. When he had finished he noticed the blonds eyes where nearly closed then he suddenly realised how tired he was. How tired she must be. Standing up Brennan pulled back the bed covers and pushed Shalimar gently so she was lying with her head against a plump gold pillow. He had not put the covers back on top of her before she fell asleep. With his limbs feeling heavy he laid on the bed next to her.

"Rest now baby."

He said knowing it would be her last chance to rest for a long time. He drifted asleep staring at her battered face.                                  __


	4. Chapter 4

 Author's notes- only one review for my last chapter I must be slipping. I know it was boring but it was necessary as part of the story. I will put more violence and detailed fight scenes as well (fight scenes are now my favourite to write now) I just need to have a good reason for them in the story. Okay I'm stopping babbling now. On with the show…

Sleep can be a wondrous thing. It is the release nature created that we all crave. As your body fixes itself your mind can truly let go. I was told once that if you go with out sleep then you drive yourself insane. As you sleep you do not only allow your body to heal but also your mind. In sleep you are not constantly thinking, planning. You always do this while being awake. Intentional or not. Sleep offers your mind a chance to let go to let you become as free as the birds. To fly so high that you think no one can touch you. Your mind can take you on a journey while you are asleep. Through wondrous disjointed images that somehow connect the dots between things you have seen with your eyes and things your subconscious makes up in all its innocent confusion. 

I missed the hazy satisfied feeling that past over you as you wake up. When you're caught in the land of limbo. Neither awake nor asleep. It's an ignorant heaven. The short blissful moment when you forget all of the trials and tribulations of your life. When you can't remember what happened yesterday so all your problems are nonexistent and your dreams still seem so real.

The only problem is with a moment of bliss comes the consequences after. Once you shake of the sleep it hits you. Everything that has happened in your life. Everything you'd rather not had happened. I had always hated it when that happens even when I was just a kid living on the streets. When I was asleep everything was okay but when I woke up it was back to continuously watching my back, waiting for the next crook to stab me in the back. The feeling was ten times worse now. I physically felt like someone had hit me in the chest. All the images flashed through my mind like an unstoppable flow of lava. 

I wanted so badly just to ignore them. To pretend none of it had happened. And I could do that because it only seemed like the dreams I had had while sleeping. No. Not a dream more like a movie in black and white that is quickly changing to colour. Then it becomes digital and then I get blasted by the surround sound. Then it was impossible to forget, to ignore.  

"Shalimar"

My voice seems to call out involuntary as soon as I see her in my head. As soon as I remember what had happened yesterday. I felt panic eat away at the lining of my stomach as I realise her sleeping form is not on the bed next to me. In her place the expensive sheets were huddled in a pile. The pillow that she had rested her head on still remained dented. I could smell her sent so strongly as if she still lay next to me. Her sent mixed in with the spicy smell of the sheets.

"Shalimar?"

My voice seemed a little louder in my ears but I was surprised at how calm and uninvolved it sounded considering how I felt the opposite to calm. All notions of sleep seemed to slip from my mind. Trying to stand up quickly I became tangled in the sheets in a rather ungraceful manner. I stumbled slightly hitting my knee on the wooden bed frame. How is it I could be so good in a fight but I could not even get out of bed properly? 

"Shalimar!"

 I shouted now still in a creepily calm voice. I was shouting to make sure she could hear me. Hoping that she had not ran away to a place where I would never be able to find her again. And you know that thought that she could have split made me feel angry. After everything that had happened between us. I had risked everything for her and I had seen her true self her soul that night. If she had abandoned that given up on the hard route to getting better then she was not the woman I believed her to be. If she had chose to be that monster, to carry on killing then I wanted nothing more to do with her. 

He span around looking for the blond women. His voice may not of given away his true feelings but his body certainly did. He looked everywhere with wide eyes he even quickly glanced behind him even though there was a thick brick wall almost directly behind him. It was a futile but that did not seem to matter. 

Then he saw her. It was almost comical as he glanced at her once, looked away and then looked back this time his dark eyes clanged to her. The shock with in them soon was displaced by concern with a mixture of horror. All emotions however were soon were covered with a reassuring look of calm. And the look only was that. To reassure her. Although his gaze seemed to remain on hers his eyes quickly darted down ho her right hand and back to her face. So quickly she could not of noticed.

"Shal, what are you doing up. You should be resting?" 

His voice was low knowing how dangerous the situation could become. He edged slowly towards the women an arm raised slightly as if to show that he was no threat.

The women seemed to look almost confused at him. Her sight travelling from his eyes to his raised hand, then slowly realising he was looking at her own hand she let her sight trail down his wrist all the way to his strong yet elegant fingers that even thought they where curved slightly seemed to point out to her own hand. She frowned at what she saw as if seeing it for the first time. Pale skinned hand, knuckles swollen with black looking grazes and long thin fingers that shook slightly. With in her own fingers she noticed a silvery glow. She was holding something in her hand. Clearly disorientated she studied the object keeping her shacking hand as still as possible. A purposely curved, rich black handle that transformed into a razor thin but wide silver blade. The materials so different but seemed to belong together so perfectly.

He hand clasped tightly around the blade as if she was drawing warmth from it, as if the weight and the texture of the deadly object could clam the shacking of her hand. Confused as she was she still had strong, barely undeniable instincts. And at these moments her instincts were at war. Conflicting as they strived to control. Two voices much the same yet so different as they flowed through her body mixing with her blood, stimulating every nerve with in her body. Each instinct trying to be victorious over the other in their vicious race. Half of her soul screamed for her to use the butcher's knife to replace her walls to become that killer animal again. This part obviously her feral side offered the cold comfort of forgetting her problems and that constant ach she felt in her chest from them. All she had to do was let go and become god like again. All she had to do was _kill_. The other part, well it was clear that she did not know much about that part of herself anymore. It screamed for reason. That the path the animal offered no matter how easy that path seemed at the moment would be the harder in the long term. It would eat away her very soul. Corrupting her but never entirely a small slither of her soul would be allowed to remain so when she was finally on her own she could feel the complete isolation her 'way out' had caused.  

He seemed to pick up on her internal battle like only someone who truly knew her could. Standing silent he let his eyes do the talking. Although his mind rushed through alternate endings to this moment he stood strong keeping his confidents about trusting her.

I suppose I was being stupid. But did I care? I pushed all my thoughts aside I had to. From the look in Shalimar's eyes I could see just how stupid I was being. A look so familiar to the one she had given me in our last confrontation. That look of blackness that I hoped I would never have to see again. Though I saw something else in her eyes something that seemed just as strong as that lifeless killer look. No pun intended. A spark of confusion almost calling out to me in the wails of the damned to make sure this did not happen to give her something to hold on too. And I had silently promised her that night that I would never let her go again.

Suddenly her gaze rose from her own hand. She seemed to look right at me yet her gaze never seemed to hit me. Then the next thing I knew she was charging at me before I even had time to blink. Knife raised. It almost seemed to happen in slow motion for me yet I did nothing. I couldn't, as I knew she was too fast even if my eyes decided to deceive me. I heard the small warrior cry that escaped her lips as she pounced on me. I felt the knife slide into my chest with worrying ease. I felt the initial shock of pain that seemed to vibrate endlessly through me. Then it all seems to disappear as the warm blood starts to flow. I want to panic but I felt to dazed to react too much. The blood pours too fast I don't understand were it is all going. How could I hold so much blood? I tried to look down, to see it with my own eyes but any movement seems to hard as the room starts to spin violently and I feel a sharp ach in my head. I start to fall and then…

…I cursed myself for thinking like that. She was not going to kill me. I would not let her I had stopped her once before I could do it again. I trusted her.

"Shalimar" I chose to use her whole name using the strongest voice I could muster. Appearing weak would only serve to aggravate her like a trapped animal would. "Shalimar give me the knife."

I take a slight step closer lifting my already outstretched arm to a more clear gesture. I watched her like you would watch an animal scared and caught in a trap or a criminal at braking point with a room full of hostages. The detachment how ever cold was the only way for me to appear this confident and calm. Two feelings I know she is drawing of me right now like something she desperately needs. I watch as her eyes are drawn back to mine but this time I know that my daydream will not happen. I can feel her start to waver before me. She seems to playing out the possibilities of endings to the situation in her head. Silently I encourage her to think it thorough rather than acting on impulse. That had always been a problem for Shalimar.

In her velvety dark eyes I could almost see her brain working. I could see the old Shal hidden barely under the surface but I could also see the animal within which seemed to be almost swallowing Shalimar like a stormy ocean. You know lately I have been separating the two entities. In my mind there was Shalimar the women I loved and there was this fierce, uncontrollable beast that just so happened to inherit the same body as Shalimar. It had made things simpler that way. Easier on me. But now I see that they are the same person. Shalimar is not perfect and has a dark side like everyone else. I realise the constant struggle she has been through all her life to keep both sides of herself balanced. She had once told me that sometimes in the dead of night when everyone else was asleep she felt like a schizophrenic. Two personalities fighting for a strong hold. I was not that the feral inside her was all bad it brought good qualities to Shalimar's over all personality. Her strength both mentally and physically. Her stubbornness to never give up no matter how impossible the odds. The feral made Shalimar whole and I loved all of her so then I loved the feral part. No matter how dangerous it had become. 

Impulses can only make suggestions. It is up to how strong a person is to see if they can put aside what they want to do to see what they have to do. Self-indulgence is never the right way in the long run. The women made a break through at that moment. More so than she did last night. Admitting what was wrong was not always the first step. It was visible to the man who was still looking at her intently what was happening. She was putting both conflicting impulses aside and using her brain to find the answer of what she should do next. Using the chose human beings do not always realise they have. The knife tightened in her grip for a second before she held it out to the man's outstretched hand. The shacking of her own hand seemed to stop as she made the gesture. Then she spun the knife expertly around in her hand so that she know held the blade lightly offering the black handle for him to take it. Giving up the temporary warmth and safety that the blade had given her.

The man took it quickly placing it down on the nearest surface without even breaking eye contact. They were both staring at each other again only with out the knife they had no reason and each movement. Each blink had become painfully unnecessary. Unsure of what to do next the women made the first move unconsciously lowering her head slightly in embarrassment. She lightly touched the hem of the swat shirt that she had only just realised she was wearing. Giving her hands something to do once they were deprived of things to hold. Suddenly the navy sweatshirt had lost all its comforting appeal and now became stuffy and hot. She rolled her shoulders uncomfortably letting the wide neckline fall so it showed one shoulder leaving only a variety of coloured bruises to cover the pale skin. Being in an unfamiliar place wearing unfamiliar clothes that smelt like mothballs and him were not making her all that comfortable at the moment. It did not matter where she was or what she was wearing this moment was always going to be hard.  

"I um, wanted a shower."

She seemed all aware of how inappropriate her words sounded she completely chose to dismiss what had just happened. Her voice was slightly rougher than normal, lower but still rather quiet. A note of forced humour was also present. He man deciding to go along with her chosen line of conversation was clearly disappointed that she did not feel ready to talk but said nothing about it.

"The bathrooms down the corridor and the first door you come to."

His words were spoken softly with a large degree of understanding. He moved towards her as if her wanted to hold her or touch her but she moved away hesitantly stopping all of his advances.

"Not while I'm all dirty."

The forced humour was now stronger. She was clearly trying to inject any kind of emotion into her voice that she could so that she could keep herself at arms reach. The emotion was only there to keep him satisfied. She was not quite ready yet even if he was. With a simple nod of understanding he allowed her to slowly walk to fid the bathroom. Watching as she limped slightly. The bathroom would not be hard to find. The place was hardly anything to be called large let alone grand. But it still somehow managed to carry an air of elegance.

After a few seconds after she left I heard the sound of running water through the semi noise proof walls. I listened for a long moment closing my mind and imagining the warm water washing all my thoughts away. I felt me cheeks move with an involuntary smile. I was carrying out a meditation technique Emma had taught me a while back. 

With a sudden urge for a drink I moved to the kitchen that was linked to the bedroom/sitting room. With out thinking I can remember where the glasses were kept then I found one small bottle of scotch lurking in the back of a dusty cupboard were I had left it. I pulled myself a small glass. Only wanting the sharp taste to alert me rather than intoxicate. I sipped the drink in silence barely aware of my surroundings. The Mediterranean orange colour that adored the walls. The simple work tops with a modern twist. The large collection of kitchen utensils that hang from one of the four walls. The collection that was now missing a knife. 

From the bathroom I heard a large thump causing me to spill some amber colour liquid over my hand. Not that I noticed. The thump was followed by five more. I counted each one out loud. For some reason I seemed to help. The sound was unmistakable to my ears. I had heard it one to many times in my time with Mutant X it was the sound of a fist hitting a rather solid wall. I wanted to go and stop her but I couldn't, not really. I could not intrude on a private moment when she had made it so clear that I was not wanted.

I closed my eyes tightly and walked to the wall which was on the outside of the building to distance myself from the heart breaking sobs that were now falling like the water from the bathroom. She needs to be alone. I need to be alone. Why do I find it so hard all of a sudden? The sobs seemed louder than the fast flowing shower. Like her growls had been louder than the rain. Why was it that water always did the opposite to what you wanted it to do?

Taking another sip of my drink I allow my mind to float back for the first time in a long time. All the way back to months ago. When this whole thing had started. Even though it felt so unpleasant I had a stubborn need to run through it all again, as if I could chance the past. I wish I could change Shalimar's past for her. She never deserved all that happened. I just guess we were just so caught up with the tangled web we had weaved to worry about the people we were neglecting...


	5. Chapter 5

Author's note- Right, I know this has taken ages sorry. I've had a lot of other things to do and write. The back-story will take place over eight chapters and then there will be one more after that. I've got it all planed out so hopefully this will be quite realistic. This is a short chapter but important so read carefully!!!!! Please remember that I have never been to a state mental institution so I have no idea what they look like. Hell I don't even know what state this one is in. Does anyone know where Mutant X is set? Hopefully the places are not as dodgy as I've made them out to be. Hey I'm been feeling brave today I may turn my hand to writing a Mutant X comedy. I have no idea if I'm even funny but I know I have a dry, sarcastic sense of humour. I also will right another dark story that completely messes up the dynamics of our heroes yet again. About saying I only had one review for the last chapter. I did when I stated writing the chapter and I never thought to change it. Time to stop chatting on with the show…

_The crumbling brick walls of the large, cold building were painted a dirty white colour. The endless corridors all the same colour creating an even more overwhelming feeling. The twisting maze carried memories of its first purpose a secret base for some of the top government officials with in the area during the cold war. Stepping through numerous wide rectangle corridors echoes of old panicked voices could be almost heard if a person really concentrated. This building was shrouded in legends and oldwives tales about haunting and strange goings on. But who really could believe these exaggerated twists of the truth. True the building did have a cold efficient feel to it but it was hardly paranormal._

_The mystery surrounding what happens inside this intimidating structure was nothing more as a discreetly run government facility. This became extremely apparent when being led at a brisk pace through corridors. So fast in fact that it becomes almost impossible to remember which way you entered. Hopefully this tale would not be a contrast to Hansel and Gretel's. The man in front made a surprisingly fast pace with his short, dumpy legs. The short man was not over weight just rather wide set. He was unfortunate enough to have balding ginger hair that seemed to be a familiar texture to candyfloss. His broad shoulders seemed to fill the whole corridor as he waddled side to side unconsciously as he walked. The heavy navy blue suit he was wearing only seemed to exaggerate all his undesirable features. In fact there even seemed to be a slight cruddy mustard stain on his sleeve. _

The man spoken no word, neither was it clear what his job was as his suite offered no definition. He could be a door-to-door sales man to anyone who did not know better. As soon as he arrived at the heavy guarded metal prison style door he grunted in an animalistic style, stepping quickly to the side. He soon disappeared in another corridor, the opposite one to the one he and the guest he was leading had entered. His heavy footsteps seemed to echo for minuets longer than they should have. 

_Behind the gate that had turned a dull red colour due to years of rust. A stone-faced nurse and young orderly stood clearly waiting for her. At this moment this place would have appeared a prison if it was not for the tiny words written on the pockets of both the nurses and the orderly's uniforms; STATE MENTAL FACILITY STAFF MEMBER. The bold letters were embroidering with grey thread. A clank of a mass of keys sounds as one lonely key twists in the heavy lock. Then the door was wide opened. The guest took one large step through the open threshold before anyone had an opportunity to shut the gate. The process was repeated perfectly with the next gate and once though all the safety protocols the guest was allowed to roam as they pleased. Clearly the sour faced staff members wanted nothing more to do with this unofficial visit._

_This part of the building changed rather dramatically. Still the walls were painted the same drab colour but there was not a large hall instead of endless corridor. The ceiling was high and the floor was tiled with powder blue squares. The hall was empty and with the lack of windows the bright lights on the ceiling seemed to be twice as bright, twice as artificial. Hills clicked on the floor as the guest made their way across it. With a breath stop at a water fountain that squeaked rather unhealthily when used the guest exited through the door at the other end. Next the person came to a large hallway with lots of rooms leading off from it. The guest walked slowly but almost robotically down the hallway checking the nametags on every door. This person was looking for someone and in this under hand way it did not seem like the person had innocent intentions. _

_After five doors the guest stopped sharply taking another moment to read the nametag. Fists clenched in anger at the name. Posture became stiffer, more focused. Slowly the guest reached to the door handle. Turning it and found it locked. Without looking around, without even missing a beat the guest simply twisted the handle in a way it shouldn't have been turned brutally. The lock broke easily under this strong hand. It simply swung open under its own steam but the guest felt it necessary to give it a sharp push so that it bounced back against the brick wall with a crash. It was this individual's way of announcing their presence._

_The room behind the locked door was deprived of the annoyingly bright light that filled the rest of this level. Instead single, bare light bulbs hang loosely to the ceiling giving the room a faint orange glow. This room was brightly white giving off a light all of its own. It hurt sensitive eyes. The floor, the walls and most of the ceiling were covered with padding similar to the type that was used on bed ends. Round lumps of plastic arranged in a pattern held the fabric in place. The floor was a new surface to walk on for the guest especially with the type of shoes that they wore. Bending legs slightly to get any sort of familiarity that could be helpful. _

_A single figure sat in the corner. A man. He looked up expectantly to the guest who stood still studying his face. A long, naturally drawn pale face that had no doubt looked slightly healthier before being imprisoned in this place. Small sharp grey eyes that carried a watery green wash to them. Eyes that where once strong and intimidating now just seemed confused and uninvolved. His nose was long and wide taking up the majority of his face. Thin lips were apart slightly in a look of anticipation. His cropped black hair looked like if it had a chance to grow it would curl unruly. _

_"Do you know me?" His accented voice asked with a slither of hope._

_The guests seemed unsettled by the comment for a moment but then seemed to put themselves back together. Composed using hatred and pain as glue. Shoulders were pulled squarely off and legs marched closer to the man. The mans neck twisted upward to look at the guest as they came close enough to let their shadow cover the white clad form of the man. He was mesmerized by the look in the guest eyes as he swayed slightly back and forth. These dark eyes were pilled with a buried pain and anger that was being hidden behind a cold determination. _

_The man suddenly came to life wriggling as he shuffled on his bum backwards. His eyes still confused but he knew he was in danger. Curiously he did not stand and fight. It was like he did not know how to defend himself, or that he knew he stood no chance. A soft indefinable sound escaped his pressed dry lips. The guest advanced on him again until he had no chance of escaping, then…_

_Outside the broken door the hallway was deserted. Other patience was locked behind the other thin doors but they offered no threat unless they could escape. A few patience's where stable enough to be allowed to wonder around at their own will. These people were always around but never truly seen. Hiding in dark corners watching carefully, muttering in their own strange languages. In this sense the building was haunted but not by ghosts by people who could not quite live in the real world. Tragic people with a lonely repetitive routine till the day they die. All of a sudden a quick, desperate scream sounded followed by a loud, sickening cracking sound which stopped the scream abruptly. A sound which could only be a neck breaking._

_The guest emerged from the room slightly flustered. Slightly irregular steps as the person walked briskly back the way they had come. A dazed look was soon replaced by a smug; all powerfully look darkening already dark eyes. The person slammed the door once again as they excited for good measure. As the door bounced around on its hinges the nametag became lose falling to the floor the thin plastic snapped easily. The name, Ievak Ivanov broke now into two.        _


	6. Chapter 6

Authors notes- this has taken me a few days to write. I have no idea why this story always takes the longest to write, as it's my most planed one. The last part was meant to be a bit confusing but it all will be revealed in what, its like, six parts of flash backs. My mental hospital well, lets just say there had to be something a bit odd about it its not where the normal insane people are kept (Did I just say the normal insane people. Oh well it is midnight) Joulianan you should recognise the name. Its fun for me as you haven't figured who he is yet. This is a bit mushy, something I hate to write but it has to be done. 

Shalimar held up her new red top against her chest as she stared at her reflection in her full-length mirror. She bit her bottom lip as she decided if she was ever going to actually wear the top. The floor of her room was covered in shopping bags each containing piles of clothes.  Shalimar stood in the middle of the chaos negotiating around the piles with out even looking. 

After a while she gave up and started on the tedious tasks of putting her new clothes away. As she did this she felt more and more frustrated. She had to go shopping on her own. Emma was busy restocking the safe houses so Shalimar could not really be angry with her. It's just that a nice shopping trip was meant to help a girl get her head around her problems. A Shalimar had found out earlier this really did not work when there was no one to go shopping with. She could of dragged Adam with her but somehow Adam at a mall was just a little too scary to think about. She considered taking Jesse but he was still moaning about the last time he was forced to go shopping with both Shalimar and Emma. That just left Brennan and he was the reason she needed a therapeutic shopping trip in the first place.

Shalimar made sure that she selfishly stomped with every step she took and shoved items in her wardrobe a little harder than she would normally. She may have been acting childish but throwing a little tantrum in private still put a mischievous smile on her face.

In fact she almost decided to forgive Brennan for being a jerk. Well almost she wanted to make him sweat a bit more even if she was not angry with him any more. Brennan had started yet another argument the other day about Shalimar going out alone and putting herself in danger. It had all started when they were at a nightclub together and Shalimar had gone have on her own. It was not like she had to stay with her three team mates every second of every day. It just so happened that she stumbled across a fat, greasy bicker trying to rape a young woman. Then he just so happened to be a mutant. Shalimar had called the rest of the team like she was suppose to but she had also chased after the slime bag on her own. Something she was not meant to do without proper information about the biker mutant's powers. Shalimar had never liked that rule anyway, what was she supposed to do let him get away?

The biker did get away in the end but that was not the point. Once she had found the rest of the team Brennan started to go on and on about how she was being unpredictable and putting herself in danger by walking into dangerous situations blind. It sounded to Shalimar that he doubted her fighting skills rather than looking out for her. She had really lost her temper when Brennan insinuated that she had put the rest of the team in unnecessary danger. In the end Jesse had to almost hold her back to stop her punching Brennan. 

She was pulled out of her thoughts by a loud knock at her door. She jumped, standing in front of the mirror Shalimar could see Her door wide open as she had left it and Brennan hovering in the door way looking slightly nervous. 

It took Brennan a moment to realise that she knew he was there without turning around.  Since Shalimar did not say a word he slowly made his way into her room attempting to look casual as possible. 

"Hi"

 He said gently testing out the waters since last time they had talked and ended up yelling at each other.

Shalimar was just going to carry on ignoring him but she found herself unable to do so as Brennan tripped over a new leather jacket that had been dumped unceremoniously on the floor. She started to giggly as Brennan lost his balance and started to fall forward. He would of fallen to the ground if Shalimar had not turned and stepped forward so that the caught him.

"Thanks"

Brennan muttered only slightly annoyed by Shalimar's giggling.

He was about to pull away but as he looked up he found himself staring into Shalimar's chocolate eyes. All of a sudden the rest of the world melted away and all he could see was those eyes that seemed to find him so amusing. 

Shalimar found her throat becoming dry as Brennan started to stare at her.  She had to admit she liked the attention but it made her uncomfortable, as she did not know why he was staring at her. She took the chance to study Brennan's face. His strong sculptured features and his stubbly jaw. She found herself loving the way his hazel brown eyes narrowed slightly as he concentrated. 

"Umm"

Both Shalimar and Brennan did not know which one of them had made the noise but it was enough for them both to pull away. Unsure with what to do next Brennan glanced around Shalimar's messy room.

"Was it my imagination but wasn't wardrobes for storing clothes and floors for walking on?"

He could not help himself for making a sarcastic comment. He turned back around to see Shalimar standing with her hands on her hips and her lips pulled straight in a mock angry expression. Once again she refused to answer him.

Brennan shuffled his feet and ran a hand through his short dart hair trying to think of the best way to apologise.

"Look Shal. About last night, I didn't mean to go of on one like that. Its just, well we all know that you can get a bit wild and I don't think you realise how much danger you are actually putting yourself in."

Shalimar waited as patiently as she could manage as he talked. She had heard Brennan's little speech a number of times. It was like a little dance they did. They would argue about recklessness and independence then later they would apologise to each other only to argue again. Emma had already told Shalimar that the pair of them was driving her mad.

"I know what danger I put myself in Bren, we are always in danger or haven't you noticed?"

Although her voice was kept at normal level Shalimar could not help but let a small amount of irritation slip into her voice. She placed her hands on her hips and raised her eyebrows to show that she was determined not to let Brennan of easily.

"And that's my point! Its are job to be in danger I except that but that doesn't mean we should be running round after office hours putting ourselves in more danger."

Brennan moved slightly closer to her. He seemed to stand still for a moment and then cross his arms hastily. Unknown to Shalimar he had to cross his arms to stop himself from touching her. Shalimar lifted her head higher in an attempt to close a little bit of ground between her small frame and Brennan's larger frame.

"I can do what I like Brennan what right do you have to tell me not to do something?" 

She knew her argument was as childish as she could possibly get but she also knew she was right. She hated it when people tried to control her. She did not know if it was the feral in her or just another flaw in her personality either way she did not want Brennan acting like an overprotective father, she could handle herself just as good as he could.

"But you didn't just put yourself in danger. If you didn't notice there was three other people with you last night. I know you didn't do it on purpose but you've got to start thinking Shal." 

Shalimar was really started to lose her temper now. She could take Brennan saying she put herself in danger even when she knew that she could handle herself, but the rest of the team. The people she considered family she could not take Brennan accusing her of putting them in danger.

"I didn't make you follow me."

Her words escaped over gritted teeth. She quickly turned her back to Brennan and began to fold a few items of clothing that lay on her bed so that it was ready to away. She hated to admit it but Brennan had made her feel guilty even though she believed she had nothing to feel guilty for. She hated that he had that effect on her. 

Brennan hovered behind her going to touch her arm a few times but deciding against it. He almost felt like rolling his eyes at how childish she was acting but he was smart enough to know that if she saw him it would only make things worse. 

"Shal, Shalimar what is your problem?"

Brennan asked gently although slightly irritated. He hated it when the feral refused to talk to him. He watched from a reasonable safe distance as Shalimar stiffened for a moment then throwing a rather short skirt that she had been holding down as she whirled around to face him.

"My problem is that you would think that I'd put the team at risk. Do you honestly think that less of me?"

She spoke in a low voice wearing her trademark –I'm-only-smiling-so-I-don't-hit-you- smile. Her eyes stared right back at Brennan's with out blinking. At this moment her eyes seemed more cat like than they ever had even when they were glowing feral.

"Shal, I defiantly don't have a low opinion of you. It's just that with you being a feral and all sometimes you don't weight out the risks before you jump into bad situations. You're the strongest person I know, I get protective because I don't want to see you hurt."

He spoke softly aware to how close he was to finally revealing his true feelings about Shalimar. He gulped and just hoped he could talk her out of her anger. Shalimar's eyes seemed to soften for a moment then she just looked pissed of again. With out missing a beat she spoke again.  

"You never get over protective with the others, not even Emma. So why me?"

Brennan's throat suddenly felt dry at Shalimar's question. She was right he realised he did treat her differently to the others he was surprised that she thought that he did it because he didn't trust her. So he had been a little unclear at times only because he did not quite know why he felt so strongly about Shalimar. At first it had seemed like jealousy of the physical feral but then he had felt his feelings deepen.

"I guess I'm protective over you because, I care about you a little more than I should."

Brennan spoke softly enjoying the feeling of finally saying what he was thinking out loud. He was relieved when he saw Shalimar's face lose all trace of anger and annoyance. The blond women glanced down at her feet breathily before looking right back into Brennan's eyes a gesture that carried a slight amount of embarrassment. Brennan took the opportunity to reach out to Shalimar carefully removing a golden wave of hair away from her face. His hand lingered by her face as if he was aware that he did not have to find reasons to touch her now his feelings were out in the open. Well not right in the open they were still playing the game they always did. Game filled with endless euphemisms.

"I care about you too, you know if your going to be over protective of me we might as well give you a reason to do it. That way we might not end un arguing as much."

Shalimar tilted her head towards his hand so that he was gently cupping her cheek. She wore her cheeky, suggestive smile on her face. Although she did not openly state her feelings she had made them clear to Brennan. It was if they were speaking in code. Right now she was telling him to hurry up and kiss her.

"Oh we'll still argue."

Brennan told Shalimar light heartedly. He leaned down until his forehead was resting against Shalimar's. Her warm, smooth skin felt pleasant against his. He kept eye contact until his lips met hers in a gentle but passionate kiss. They had finally admitted to their feelings and were not going to rush. Brennan planted small endless kisses on her lip until it became frustrating for both of them and then they kissed deeply savouring each other's tastes. Shalimar was amazed that she had ever survived this long with out kissing those soft lips before. She placed her arms around the back of his neck to give herself some leverage so she could meet Brennan's tall height.

After a while they broke away slightly gasping for breath. Brennan found himself grinning as he saw Shalimar's now wide smile that seemed to light up her face.

"I love you."

He heard himself muttering. He was surprised he had not even thought about saying those three words. It did not matter if he planed to say them or not what was important was that he knew that he meant them. He was not some naïve teenager declaring his love to his every girl friend no, this felt real.

"Love you too."

Shalimar whispered. She let herself fall into Brennan letting him support her weight. Normally when people used the l word she became suspicious of them. Her father had told her he loved her once, a long time ago, her father had never known the meaning of love. Adam the man she regarded as her real father had never really told her he loved her. Properly because he knew that it would only make her uncomfortable Shalimar had learnt from experience that actions speak louder than words. This time was different though Brennan said he loved her and she did not doubt him the slightest. It was a new feeling for Shalimar and one she could grow used to.

The moon was full that night and through the windows of Sanctuary the night's sky seemed to be the colour of rich purple velvet. It was a warm night. Not so warm that it became uncomfortable just enough to make it pleasant.

Brennan lay in the silence aware of how corny it all seemed. It did not matter though he had always hated those movies were the couple finally get together with over the top music and annoying slow motion stuff just did not happen like that in real life. Or so he thought but the first time he had kissed Shalimar he could almost hear the over the top music in his ears. It made him smile to think about it now if Shalimar knew what he was thinking about she would tease him endlessly. He was satisfied that there was nothing false or cheesy about their love. He was not some perfect guy who did things 'the proper way' and Shalimar was defiantly not some coy small town girl just waiting to be swept of her feet. Instead he they both were super powered freaks he though with a grin. And Shalimar could never be swept of her feet; even if he attempted to 'sweep' her she would only kick his ass. Now that was another thing Mary Jane couldn't do.

He was lying on his side in his bed. Propped up on his elbow so that he could watch the sleeping feral in front of him. Her slow even breaths filled his head with a dizzy sense of calm. He watches as she shifts slightly in her sleep. The thin covers gather around her waist revealing more of her silk nightdress that slid so easily against the covers. Her hair had fallen partly over her face hiding it from his view. She looked so calm and peaceful. Like a graceful cat curled up right next to him.

_What more could I want?_ Brennan found himself thinking. A silent yawn escaped his lips and all of a sudden he felt unable to keep his eyes open and the arm he was leaning on began to go numb. Quietly so not to wake his partner Brennan laid back down on his back his head sinking into the deep pillow. He laid an arm gently across Shalimar's waist, he had no idea why but he liked being able to touch her even as she lay inches away from him. He was over protective, so what. His eyes closed slowly and his breathing slowed down until he was snoring slightly.

The room sits in silence, unmoving. The quick opening of golden yellow slanted eyes breaks the peacefulness. Shalimar lay still, clearly awake. For a moment she seems lost and confused. Her eyes still feral glance down to Brennan's arm that now lay heavily on her belly. She makes sure he is in a deep sleep using her feral instincts. When she was satisfied she wordlessly slips out of his grip and away from the bed.

Turning away from Brennan's sleeping form she let her nightdress slip to the floor revealing her flawless tanned skin. Stepping out of the silk puddle she quickly slipped back on the clothes she had discarded hastily on the floor earlier that night. The only sound comes from the zips of her high hilled boots.

With a single, unreadable glance over her shoulder Shalimar reaches for the door slipping of into the night unnoticed. Brennan blissfully unaware rolled over in his sleep so that he is on his side facing the patch of bed that Shalimar had occupied minuets ago. He never rolled on to her side of the bed it was if he had unconsciously rolled over to be close to her. Little did he know no matter how close he thought he was he could never get too close to her when night fell…    


	7. Chapter 7

Author's notes- Next parts here, I know I've taken a while sorry. I think this is the third flash back scene so that will mean there's umm five or six left (I really should know what I've written… but I don't. Does anyone know anything about the floors in the Sanctuary? I'm guessing that its mostly wooden floors but I'm given Brennan a carpet. It like Star Trek when you just wish they would point the camera down so you could see what the characters wear on their feet. Okay so that's just me then. Please read and review and be nice as I have a bit of a chest infection 

"I win again!"

Emma shouted happily dropping down all of her cards she punched her fist in the air but managed to stop herself from getting up and doing a stupid dance. She grinned cheekily at the two men sitting opposite her in a rough circle on the floor.

Jesse exchanged a look with Brennan. Both held a look of both amusement and surprise.

"Maybe we shouldn't of taught Emma how to play poker."

Emma poked out her tongue still grinning at Brennan's even comment. She gathered up al the cards and started to eagerly shuffle them.

"Oh stop moaning guys, lets play again. I never realised how fun gambling can be!"

"Dear God we've made a monster!"

Emma was now pouting at Jesse's joke while Brennan laughed. The mood was calm and lighthearted with the three of them sitting cross-legged on Brennan's floor playing poker. Why they had ended up in Brennan's room none of them knew but the carpet was fluffy can comfortable so no one really wanted to move.

"Aww, you boys aren't being sore losers are you?"

A gently teasing voice sounded at the doorway. They all turned to see Shalimar leaning against the doorframe with a half smile on her face. She pushed her waves of blond hair behind her ear as she went to sit on the bed placing her legs either side of Brennan who sat in front of her.

"We're not sore losers, Emma's just an compulsive winner. She always wants to win and hasn't lost yet. I think she's using her powers."

Jesse informed Shalimar getting a slap from Emma.

"Honey how many times have I got to tell you you're only supposed to use your powers for good."

Shalimar said as if she was talking to a child. 

"What are you playing for any way?"

She added after noticing none of them seemed to be carrying money.

"Chocolate."

Brennan and Jesse said at the same time. Shalimar laughed knowing that Emma would do anything for chocolate.

"You want to play Shal?"

"No way she's worse than you. What is it with women and the need to win all the time?"

Brennan asked as Shalimar leaned over him putting her arms on his shoulders. Brennan shifted so that his head was facing her. She leaned close enough so that her lips gently touched his but did nothing else.

"I don't try to win all the time. I'm just good at everything."

Shalimar whispered waiting to see if Brennan was going to make a cocky comeback. 

"And don't I know it."

Brennan whispered absently distracted by Shalimar's face inches from his own. He watched as a sly smile grew on Shalimar's lips and she leaned in and kissed him rapping her arms around his neck as Brennan turned his whole body to face her. They kissed gently. Shalimar tease Brennan by pulling away and then kissing him lightly again. When she thought he had suffered enough she let him kiss her properly. Brennan couldn't help but think that Shalimar had been very teasing lately, even aggressive at times not that he did not enjoy it.

"Get a room guys. You're grossing me out."

Shalimar and Brennan broke away to look at Jesse. They then looked around them and then back at Jesse who was just realising that they _did _have a room.

"Come on are we playing or not?"

Emma said impatiently seemingly not listening to what was going on around her. She was about to deal out the cards when Adam's voice suddenly filled the room. It took her a moment to realise that he was speaking over their coms.

"I need you all in the lab."

Emma answered telling Adam that they were on their way. As they all stood up to leave she exchanged a puzzled look with Jesse.

"I have been contacted by a new mutant who is in need of our help."

Adam was saying as he paced slowly down the long side of the lab. The rest of the team were sitting on any free flat surface strong enough to hold their weight as well as everything else that was scattered on them. They all sat in silence waiting for Adam to explain the whole situation.

"Her name is Jade, as far as I can tell she is able to manipulate water. She has also informed me that she has been approached by a rather mysterious group of people who claim they want to recite her. But they don't seem to be the trustworthiest people. Jade's scared I want Brennan and Jesse to go and bring her here. Emma and Shalimar, I want you to try and find what you can about the people after Jade."

Adam was now looking each one of the team in the eyes as he gave them their instructions. He placed his hands in his trousers pockets as he did so.

"Are you sure that it isn't the GSA after this…Jade girl."

Brennan said with a frown as he tried to remember her name. Adam nodded at him secretly proud that the elemental had learned to think through some of the possibilities before running of to save the day impulsively.  

"I can't tell for sure at the moment and I don't want to rule them out but they seem to have disintegrated six months ago and this is not even their style. Keep your eyes open though."

Adam informed as they all got up to leave.

Brennan was about to leave when he realised that his coat was not in his room. He did not want to sound stupid but he liked wearing his long leather coat. It made him feel like a secret agent on a dangerous mission. This being so close to the truth would no doubt make him look like an idiot. He quickly remembered he had left it in Shalimar's room as he had spent last night with her.

He quickly made his way to Shalimar's room finding Emma standing in the middle of the room.

"Em?"

He asked noticing that Shalimar was not with her. He saw his coat lying on Shalimar's beanbag chair and quickly picked it up.

"Hay I was just looking for Shal. We were going to go over some film we've got from a security camera of those guys after the girl. I can't find her anywhere. Has she been with you?"

Emma asked slightly annoyed that her friend had abandoned her when she was faced with doing something that did not involve beating people up. She knew that Shalimar was easily bored but that did not mean that she enjoyed the work that much either. Brennan shook his head.

"I thought she would be with you."

"Great she's left the Sanctuary with out telling us where she's going and she has a job to do."

Emma said not really angry as Shalimar had always liked her independence but it was not right for her to disappear right in the middle of a mission that could turn dangerous. Brennan however felt slightly angrier than Emma. Even though he had not said anything he had noticed Shalimar slipping out a lot lately. Not enough to seem suspicious but if she was going out on her own at night it would be common sense for her to tell someone, especially someone she was meant to be going out with. Wasn't a relationship based on truth?

Brennan shrugged of that trail of thought. Shalimar had not been seriously involved with anyone for a long time. She was properly feeling a little claustrophobic. Him trying to pick at her behaviour would only push her further away. 

Sometimes he did not understand Shalimar.

"I wouldn't worry Emma she properly will be back soon then you can make her do all the work for her disappearing act."

Brennan said with a smile knowing that Shalimar would be pissed of with that. He then left slipping his coat over his shoulders watching how the bottom flew backwards as he walked. 

'_So much like Batman'_ He thought.


	8. Chapter 8

Author's note- Just letting you know I'm still alive, I've just been lurking. I want lots of reviews even though I'm not sure if anyone will want to read this anymore. Anyone who gets back to me can have a chocolate muffin, that's really saying something because I really love chocolate muffins. This has turned into a bit of an extra, filler chap for the drama that will come next, that means I still have six parts to write. 

Brennan entered the Sanctuary with Jesse on his hills. Another pair of feet could be heard lagging behind them. These feet were lighter than the two males before them and the extra sharpness of the sound made it clear that this person was wearing high hills.

Brennan seemed to be oblivious to the new person in the Sanctuary. His brown orbs immediately landing on Shalimar and remained on her unblinking as the blond feral smiled tightly up at him as she talked to Adam. Jesse on the other hand looked happily bemused as he looked over his shoulder after hearing a slight gasp of amazement. It was not every day when he got to bring a girl home with him.

Adam immediately stood when Jade entered the room, taking control like a good leader should. Emma smiled welcomingly at her while Shalimar made no movement to make the new women feel too comfortable. This was her home after all and she was a territorial feral.

Jade herself was stunningly tall. She must have only been a couple of inches shorter than Brennan with legs far more elegant and slim than the tall elemental. Jade barely looked at the members of Mutant X, instead she glanced around the room trying to drink in every detail. She ran her hand lightly over the wall as she walked in a similar way to blind women would. 

Jade was a very trim build. Her figure being one that a supermodel would die for; deprived of all the normal womanly curves but so tall and slim that her body moved with a grace that could only be feminine. Her long skirt moved effortlessly with her every step falling against high hilled knee length boots. She wore a light blue t-shirt. Thought the thin material of the t-shirt it was clear that she was not wearing a bra and did not need to be wearing one.

Her skin was an exotic colour similar to caramel or dark sand. It seemed to glow in the bright lights of the Sanctuary. Her face was filled with soft round features that appeared rather undefined but beautiful none the less. Her lips were glossed and pulled thin into a small smile. Her nose was tiny and soft. She had large almond shaped eyes in dark green. The feature that made Jade stunning was her blunt shoulder length hair. The sharp style should have added to the roundness of her already noticeably round face, but instead it seemed to have the opposite effect. Her perfectly smooth deep brown hair seemed to act as a hallo around her head. Her hair that was shinning brightly in the artificial lights of the Sanctuary suggested innocence, a contradiction with the 'been around the block and survived' look that she displayed in her eyes. 

"Well now, this is an interesting place you have here." 

Jade spoke before Adam was able to open his mouth to handle the introductions and other formalities. Her voice was soft and gentle. The sort of voice that sounded like it could never be raised to an angry tone. But her voice was eerily calm and gentle, lacking in its perfection. One thing was for sure; there was something different about this Jade.

Brennan watched with amusement as Emma pulled a bobble hat on her head. He could not help letting out a small laugh that in turn caused Emma to turn and smile back at him.

"Its cold out there. If I'm going with Adam to meet this contact I want to be warm."

She said rapping a long multi coloured scarf around her neck.

"But Jesse didn't get all snuggled in warm clothes when he went to meet his contact."

Brennan pointed out raising an eyebrow. Emma rolled her eyes in return.

"That's because Jess is properly going to meet this mysterious person with a lead on Jade's mysterious stalkers in a nice warm Internet café were they serve coffer and hot chocolate with cream and marshmallows…"

She trailed off as her mind came to chocolate. Causing Brennan to laugh again. Of course it was silly of him to think that Jesse was going to end up meeting someone in a place without computers. Which was logical in some ways. Computers meant being indoors with warmth. The whole team were well aware that Adam often made meetings with contacts in cold remote places.

"Not all of a superhero's life is glamorous is it? Well at least you don't have to baby-sit Jade. If she comes near me with nail varnish like that other girl I refuse to be responsible for my actions."   

Suddenly Emma's gentle smile disappeared and she lowered her brow in an almost worried look. She glanced around nervously as if she was expecting someone to be listening to their conversation. She walked closer to Brennan in attempt to bring the conversation to more serious tones. She clasped her hands and looked briefly at the floor before looking Brennan right in the eye.

"This Jade, there is something about her, something odd. I don't know if I'm jumping to conclusions but when I first met her I tried to read her. And what I got of her was perfectly normal."

"So what's the problem then?"

Brennan asked knowing better than to ignore Emma. He had quickly grown to trust Emma's abilities to read people; after all they had saved all their lives countless times.

"It was more what I didn't get. There was this big chunk of her mind that I just couldn't get to. It was like hitting a solid wall. Don't trust her Brennan it's not natural. And what I could read from her, well it seemed to perfect. Everyone has their bad points apart from Jade. Just be careful when your with her, this could be nothing but you never know."

Emma smiled up at Brennan as he pulled her into a quick hug before winking at her.

"Thanks for the heads up Emm, you never know it could make all the difference. You better get going Adam's properly getting paranoid about missing his mysterious contact. "

NB- the next chapter will be up as soon as I can; I just have eleven other stories to update first. Fear of the familiar is among them if anyone is interested.


	9. Chapter 9

Author's notes- here's the next chapter it's quite long. I hope you enjoy reading it. I am getting to update Fear Of The Familiar but I was more in the mind frame for this story. I'm interested in people's reaction to Jade. Hopefully a past chapter should be explained if I write this properly. 

"So why do I hear you're nicknamed Sparky?" 

Brennan looked up in slight irritation from the guitar he held in his arms to see one perfectly shaped eyebrow raised high on Jade's head. A sly smile played on her painted lips. She stood in the doorway of Brennan's room without the slightest sign of embarrassment at her intrusion. 

"Depends who you heard it from." 

Brennan found himself muttering back, silently cursing himself for the suggestive yet dangerous tone of his words. Old habits die-hard and Brennan was so used to flirting with beautiful women. Still it would not hurt to have her think that she was getting to him. Being two steps ahead in this little exchange could prove valuable after Brennan's last conversation with Emma. Besides no women stood a chance now he was with Shalimar, well he thought he was still with her…

"Hmm, dark, gorgeous and now mysterious. I believe I have found the perfect man."

Jade interrupted his thoughts with her playful purr. Her long delicate fingers fiddled with his wooden doorframe casually. Brennan put the guitar down heavily neck to him feeling its weight join his on the bed.

"Oh I'm not so perfect."

He spoke confidently but made no eye contact with Jade, this was entirely deliberate in an attempt to stop any accidental signs. Jade walked confidently deeper into the room. Brennan felt a faint twinge of intrusion but also admired the stranger's confidence.       

"You needed something?" 

Brennan broke the stretched silence. He then watched silently as Jade sat down besides him on the bed. As she sat she slid one long leg other the other so that she was sitting cross-legged. The split up one side of her long skirt revealed slightly more leg. A chocolate coloured thigh contrasted with the flowing white material. Jade leaned back on arms placed either side of her body. Brennan could not help but let his eyes travel the length of her slim body before his brown met hers dark green. He swallowed loudly.

"I was lonely all on my own. Where is everyone?"

"Jesse gone to that computer guy he told you about and Emma went with Adam to see his contact. Don't worry we will get these people of your back in no time. Then you can go back to your normal life."

 He spoke a little too quickly. Soon Jade would be gone and he wouldn't have to feel so uncomfortable anymore. 

Jade twisted her body slightly so that she was facing Brennan she wore a slight bashful look on her face. Her small smile remained but her dark cheeks had turned a pale red. She pressed her lips together in a moment of concentration. She then lowered her eyes to her hands brining them back up to Brennan's face but as her gaze wondered she took in the details of Brennan's tightly toned chest and strong arms. The flimsy top he wore did nothing to hide the round impressions of his many muscles. 

"Maybe I don't want this to be over so quickly. Don't get me wrong I want these creepy guys of my tail. I don't feel safe until I know they are gone, they scare me shitless."

She paused noticing Brennan's slightly opened mouth and recognising the expression as surprise.

"Yes, although I'm not showing it I'm really, really scared. Waking up every night in a strange place hoping that they have not found me again. Constantly looking over my shoulder, never trusting anyone in case they're just another one of _them._"

She trailed of with an involuntary shiver. Brennan found himself looking at the mysterious girl before him for the first time as a victim, running scared. He could not help but to link his fingers in her own and squeeze gently as a sign of support. His eyes were deep with understanding as he watched hers fill with moisture. She refused to let a single tear fall.

"But here, here it's different. I don't have to look over my shoulder and its not just because I'm in some futuristic superhero base with impossibly high security so that no one can get in if you guys don't want them too. Its, because I'm here… with you, I can't explain it Brennan but I'm drawn to you. I feel I can rely on you. I know I've only known you for a few hours but I hope that pretty soon you feel the same way with me."

Her hand escaped his and now was resting on the upper part of his arm. A hopeful fire blazed in her eyes that appeared to be locked on his. 

_'Oh, shit' _Brennan muttering involuntary luckily only inside his head. He stood quickly taking a breath before turning back round to face Jade. She had leaned forward. The neck of her t-shirt being pulled lower so that smoother, dark skin was visible. Her eyes were surprisingly wide, innocent and questioning. She was not going to make this easy on him.

"Look, Jade I can't, not that I wouldn't want too. But I love Shalimar; I could never do anything to hurt her. I'm here for you though, just not in that way."

He scratched the back of his neck as he talked almost subconsciously. He watched Jade's eye intensely he would use her reaction to judge what to say next. 

Jade sat still for a moment. Her eyes seemed to shift thorough half a dozen emotions. For a second Brennan was sure that he saw her eyes turn a shade closer to black in what appeared to be anger. Then as her emotions settled the smile was back on her lips. She showed no change in her emotions. It was of putting. 

"Shalimar."

Jade muttered as if she was testing the sound of the name. The tone of her voice was unreadable but Brennan could tell that there was a hidden meaning there. Could it be jealousy?  

"I didn't know. She seems so… distant. I guess I'm just surprised that she has time for anyone apart from herself. I mean, what is she doing now? The rest of you have been so nice trying to help me and everything."

She read Brennan's expression, the anger mixed with sadness and she knew she was hitting in something.

"Look I'm sorry. I don't want to intrude. Your special Brennan, I can see it after such a short time. Shalimar doesn't appreciate you. I can tell from your eyes that you're not happy. I could make you happy Brennan. I can do things…"

She stopped as Brennan raised a hand in the air. For a moment he just stood looking as uncomfortable as anyone ever had in their own room. Then as he looked at Jade once again he suddenly felt sorry for her. Brennan pulled the single chair that sat in his room over so that he was sitting in front of Jade. He hoped that them being at the same level would make this easier on both of them.

"I'm flattered Jade but no."

He spoke sharply. Keeping his words short and direct but not cold. He wanted to make the fact that he was unavailable clear he did not want to be cold.

Jade seemed totally unfazed. She smiled at Brennan as if she had not heard him turn her down. Once again he could not read her electric green eyes. He could only sit as she reached up a delicate hand and cupped his cheek and then she left. It was almost as if a secret message between them. A message that only Jade understood. Brennan could not deny there was something in her touch. Some sort of electricity had past through Jade's touch. Brennan found himself chuckling softly at the irony. 

He listened, as Jade's footsteps were too distant to hear before he started to relax. He was attempting to dissect the conversation that had just past in his mind when he jumped at the sound of more footsteps. But these were not Jade's they were coming from the opposite end of the corridor. Although these footsteps carried the sharp sound of high hills the disposition of the steps were different from Jade's. These steps were so much more familiar, Shalimar's. 

Brennan was amazed at the affect even her footsteps had on him. The familiar even sound that bestowed confidence and grace with a mixture of fierce attitude and childish playfulness. Brennan had not known that Shalimar was home. He quickly left his room to go find her.

He found Shalimar heading towards the garage and his heart snuck. He watched for a moment as she threw her leather jacket over her shoulder with out breaking a stride. 

"You're leaving again."

He stated simply in a monotone voice to block out his feelings of hurt. Shalimar stopped, her back tensed and then relaxed. Brennan could not help but reminded about the many times they had been in the same situation.

"Where are you going?"

He asked softly. This was a repeat performance from every night in the past two weeks. It brought a familiar bitter taste in the back of Brennan's mouth. Shalimar turned around. A smile was on her face but it did not seem to reach her eyes, instead her eyes were burning balls of hostility. Her tight smile only served as a means to keep everything under control. 

"I'm going to see if I can find any leads with the people after Jade."

Her words were as tight as her smile.

"Shal, its late and dark outside. Adam and the others should be back any minuet. Shouldn't we at last regroup and see what they have come up with before you do anything. Besides Adam wouldn't want you going after an unknown threat on your known, I don't want you to either."

He reasoned with her taking his time to turn over the words in the unfamiliar role. Since when was he Mr Caution? He wished Adam were here to stop her going out maybe he could talk some sense into her as she wasn't listening to the man who loved her. 

"I'll tell you what if they have found anything call me."

Shalimar declared with a raise of an eyebrow. Her carefree manner seemed out of place. She stepped forward and kissed Brennan on the cheek quickly before attempting to leave again. The kiss was meant to be a distraction, to make him leave her alone. Brennan saw what she was trying to do and felt his anger grow.

"You're not going anywhere Shalimar. I'm fed up of you being so god damn distant and taking these stupid risks all the time."

His voice rose slightly closer to a shout he knew in the back of his head that Shalimar hated being told what to do by anyone but at this moment he could not bring himself to care.

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do Brennan!"

Shalimar snapped mirroring Brennan's thoughts. She stomped back to him her smile now disappeared and her whole face twisted in an expression of anger and determination. Brennan let a hollow laughter escape his lips in disbelief.

"Oh, I know that I can't tell you to do anything. I don't even have a say in your life! We are meant to be a couple Shal. That means all the time not when you feel like it!"

He was shouting now. His own voice sounded distant in his ears. He had been worried about her every time she did one of these disappearing acts. He had let it all build up; he had tried to give her some space. He knew that Shalimar was free spirited but this was ridiculous. Everything was all pressed down inside him it had to get out eventually. This time was now.

"Were do you get of Brennan! Will you just stop smothering me! You don't need to know where I am every second. You know I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself!"

He had never seen her so angry before. As she shouted at him she waved her arms around to emphasise her words. Brennan was taken back, he had expected her to be upset but he had not expected this. She seemed almost primeval and out of control. He took a few steps back as if the force of her voice had knocked him back like what happened in cartoons. 

"Shal…" 

He tried but was cut off by her eyes flashing gold at him. Surprise filled him as he identified a feeling in the pit of his stomach, fear. He was scared of Shalimar, the women who he trusted like no other. He could not put his finger on it but she was different. She felt so far away and he hated it.

"Just leave it Bren, okay?"  

She said sharply into the silent void as she spun on her hills and stalked out with the grace of a feline. 

All of the anger that Brennan was holding in had disappeared. He wished it would come back. The emptiness was new territory and he did not like it. He never understood how she did this to him. He would go to her feeling one thing and she would turn him around completely. Right now was the dizzy time that came after Shalimar. This time it was worse than normal. Was Shalimar even his anymore?

"Are you okay?"

Jade's voice was soothing. Brennan closed his eyes in attempt to regain some composer. Jade's even voice free of shouting and anger helped. It acted as an anchor.   

"What do you think?"

Brennan replied sadly realising that his headache was preventing him from snapping at her. Jade stood fingering with the hemline of her top her eyes showed concern.

"I didn't mean to over hear but it was almost impossible not too. You don't deserve that."

Jade was telling him what he needed to hear. He was a defeated man with no energy to tell her to mind her own business.    

"Yeah, I didn't think so either."

Brennan muttered thinking about going to find something to get rid of this stabbing pain in the med lab. Jade looked uncomfortable for a moment. The first time Brennan had ever seen this. He looked her in the eye questioningly. 

"Look, I haven't told you guys the whole truth, I admit it. And I will tell you the truth Brennan but first I want to show you something."

Jade took him by the hand and lead him to the nearest computer terminal. Once there she pulled an unmarked disk from her pocket. Brennan watched and listened tiredly to the small clicks as she typed. After a moment she stepped back so that Brennan was able to see the monitor. 

He found himself watching a black and white image of a bare room were a single man sat in the corner. The recording was fuzzy, lines flashed over the images making it hard to see.

"Isn't that…?"

Brennan started recognising the small figure on the recording. 

"Ievak Ivanov, the Russian new mutant who mentally tortured Shalimar, yes it is."

Jade's voice was grim and even.

Brennan watched in silence. He watched as a woman entered the room, a women he quickly recognised as the women he loved. He watched as the man coward at her feet. He watched as Shalimar killed him.

Brennan felt his hear sink, was that shock? He could not tell everything was numb. It was as if his world had been turned upside down. He tried to figure out what he was feeling, what he felt towards Shalimar but he couldn't think. 

"I'm sorry I have to show you this. You know that I never want to hurt you."

Jade laid a hand on his tense shoulder. She spoke with a slight hesitation regret filled her voice.

 "Why did you bother then?"

Brennan snapped. '_This is anger'_ His brain told him in a tone that should have been used on a Childs television show. Anger was good. He could feel anger at this moment anger was a reasonable response.

 "Look Brennan, there is no one after me. The people who I said were, well I work for them I can't tell you who they are. This recording was given to us. We need to take Shalimar away Brennan, that's why I'm here. Look at what she did she is not well. We can help her before she hurts anyone else."

Jade turned Brennan around so that he was looking in her eyes. All he saw was honesty there. It was Jade's turn to take his hands. She used her thumbs to massage little circles on the back of Brennan's hands. 

"I was telling the truth when I said I liked you Brennan. That's why I'm telling you this. Help me do my job. I can be the woman you need."

She tilted her head up slightly to look at him closely. She was trying to read him. Seeing that Brennan was still in some stage of shock she brought her lips to his gently. Using the tip of her tongue to separate his lips. After a moment of hesitation he opened his mouth granting her accesses. A strong arm pulled her closer. He was on her side.  

NB- If you don't know who Ievak Ivanov is check out the episode guide on the Mutant X site. 


End file.
